The death Dimension!

January of 2016 has been ok so far. OK because if there were highs, a couple of lows followed quickly.

Since the time I have moved to the US, talks with everyone in the Indian neighborhood has become limited to once or maximum twice a week (with an exception of family and few friends). So, a ‘Hi’ from one such neighbours, filled me with unknown fear. After the usual “How are you” stuff, she messaged me the unexpected. One of the other neighbors’ husband has passed away. Oh my God, I was so sure that something was not right and here the news was, staring at me.

He was a young, 33 year old father of an infant. So soon? Taken in the cruelest way. Why? How will God justify this?

On the other hand, read about a teenage swimmer, who killed herself fearing low grades.

Some end their precious life and some are robbed off this priced possession.

There are so many, old, bedridden, in pain and agony, wishing nothing but death. And then there are the ones, young, with a long life ahead, eyes full of dreams and shoulders weighed with responsibilities. If you and I had to decide, we will set the suffering souls free. But God decides otherwise. I wonder, what is his way of deciding the end. what is the criteria, that puts an abrupt end to a life that so much deserved to live.

I remember, a few years ago, one of my friends’ younger sister passed away after a long battle with cancer. So beautiful, so young, taken so soon. What was her purpose? Why was she even sent to this world?

 

Strange are God’s ways. “Strange” that is all I can call it. Because God cannot be mean and unfair. That is what we have grown up believing. We cannot question the almighty, because whatever he does, does for good. Atleast that is what the experienced tell us.

I have always had a sensitive attachment to the dead. “How would have they felt in the last moments” “Who would have they called for” “Are they still around” “Where are they right now”. I am sure there are many who constantly think about the soul’s whereabouts. The answer to all this lies at the end of the tunnel. I guess, we have to reach there to know what is happening. So, overthinking is useless.

But, cutting short a healthy and happy life and leaving the sick to suffer is something I do not understand!

Advertisements

Competition, Comparison, Contentment!

A  ” What is the plan over the weekend?”

B  “Nothing, would just be lazying around.”

A  “Ok, we are headed to the famous Statue of Liberty.”

B  “Oh wow, we have already been there last year”

A  “O Ok, we were too busy exploring the west coast last year”

B  “West coast is struck off our bucket list 2 years back.”

A  “Oh 2 years back We were busy visiting places in India, afterall, our country is nothing less of a beauty.”

In day to day life, I often come across people, who listen to answer and not understand. If someone has bought the latest phone, I would love to know its features from the one who actually owns it rather than bragging about my internet fed half knowledge about it. But that is the most difficult task for human beings who feel they are not less than anyone around. You will realise that 90% of the talks turn into “who knows better” games. And this is kind of tiresome and irritating.

Who is the culprit?

We! Everyone of us is to be blamed. Society is such that we tend to ape one another. And in the quest to prove ourselves the best, we end up feeling miserable. A wife nagging her husband to take her to the restaurant right opposite to the famous waterfront,just because one of her friends has been there last week, is the beginning of trouble. If your weekend plans start becoming a quest to compare, you will never be happy. It is good to explore places or things suggested by friends and family, but building your days around “doing everything that others have done” is outright crazy. The number of unhappy people is increasing at a rate as high as population growth. And the reason is simple, Comparing your lives to another.

Trying to become what someone else is, and in the process dumping your hard earned, unique self will never get you famous. Being in a garden and sulking about the fact that you are not at the happening party your friend is at, is wastage of your time at the garden. Enjoy where you are, live the life that you have built for yourself. There will always be someone better than you, there will always be someone having a better profile picture or better weekend plans. But that does not make you any less. Go to a disc because you love dancing , not just because your friend has been there last night.

 

Life becomes very easy and worth enjoying once you start making plans for yourself. Comparison and competition are not synonyms to Contentment. They don’t even rhyme. So what is the point of doing the first two in a hope to get the third.

My pledge for life is ” I am not going to run around and exhaust myself visiting the places i have no interest in, buying the gadgets I don’t need or wearing the dress I don’t feel comfortable in, Just because someone else has done that.”

Family Fragments

I am without a number for the past few days. Number porting can turn you real nostalgic. No number is equal to no quick talks with friends. So now when I meet them, they have lots to tell. Erica, my gym mate turned friend was really upset yesterday and wanted to talk to me asap. Someone upset on Sunday can mean the problem is serious.

I messaged her on facebook to come over and the first thing after sending my husband to work was sitting with her. “Am I not a good Human being?”She bursted into tears.

I wondered what made her so helpless and doubtful about her goodness. And I always believed the only thing that can break you is what has made you. For me its the people I love . And today I realized, Erica has similar choices. One of her Siblings was upto something and Erica alerted her parents to make sure things are looked after. And today, her family blames her for everything that has ever happened. Would not write much about the incident but what led Erica to be the Villain has to be discussed. Loving and spoiling are two different things but are often taken as synonyms in many households. There are many Sons and daughters who have grown old enough to reproduce but are still treated as a crib confined baby. And what is mischief in childhood can turn into mistakes as you grow. Forgiving is a Godly quality but forgiving someone who is not even sorry is foolishness. And there are families where one is always forgiven and another is always tested. Blaming the quieter is easier than correcting the nastier.

Is Erica really responsible for the decisions made by her adult sibling?

Is anyone of us to be blamed for what happens to someone who doesn’t want to take our suggestions?

Being protective for your family and loving them unconditionally is the best thing that can happen to you. Lucky are the families that have a member who binds everyone. But quite more than often, this care and love is taken for granted. When people know you will always be there, they won’t even peek to check on your well being. And you are standing their, like a pillar, strong and tall, ready to face all the hardships before it even reaches your people. You do all this without expecting anything. But you get returns in thankless statements and threats to be disowned. Should you be scared of losing someone who doesn’t even respect your existence? Or should they be concerned of missing a daughter, son, sister, brother (or any relation) who loved them immensely?

 

We have been taught since infanthood till we die that family is always right and parents can never be mean. But I have met people who have tears in their eyes and tiredness in their voice gifted by their families. So, if I have a loving family I would not define Family as loving. I might be lucky with the gene equation but not everyone is.

Don’t do this to yourself. No relation is worth keeping if it is not two sided. Love, respect, care, you name it and everything has to be two sided. The intensity can vary but the element should be present. It is painful an acceptance that family can be mean, but it is true for some. And the sooner you realise where you stand with people you love, the better it is for your health. Stress is the root of many diseases after all and you don’t want to fall sick for being good.

People will always have something to talk about. So I do not even consider “what will people say” emotion while making any decision. Society pressure is more lethal than a high or low Blood pressure . It won’t be wrong to say that the former can cause the latter.

I cannot advise but if I am ever in a situation where my family is not one straight out of community living book, I will take it easy. I would rather spend that love and energy on people who truly care. Ups and downs are a part and parcel of life but if you are always on the downs while trying to keep your loved ones up, it is time to re evaluate and rethink! I hope everyone out there is listening….

 

 

An open letter to the Terrorists!

I am starting this letter without addressing you, because you don’t have a shape, size, religion, address, title. You don’t even have the guts to roam around in your original self. Come announced some day and I dare you to harm a single soul of this planet!

But you are too coward to do that!  Sometimes you come as guest of a greedy,sometimes you simply come with lot of fear but so called bravery and this time you took help of our Army uniforms . No matter how you come, you are hidden under a pile of cartons , in the corner of a ship, behind trees, or taking advantage of the dark. So, I believe you are nowhere even close to the brave hearts who take your bullets on chest and not back.

Do you think you are brave?

I don’t even have to answer it.

Are you following commandments of your God?

Better kill yourself, reach Him and get the answer!

Is your stupidity weakening us?

You wish!

Have we got plans to listen to you?

Not until you drop the gun and surrender!

I am sure, in the self induced horrible conditions that you live in, education and sanity is a distant dream. I wont be surprised if you are looking for someone (who is literate but not educated) to read this for you! You have weapons to fight but you never get success. Because the God that you fight in the name of has long back abandoned your soul! A 1 year old boy kissing his parents and smiling has done more than you would be doing in a lifetime.

The Pathankot attack was a revenge for your friends who were hanged and see that is where we sent your mates!

We lost 6 jewels this time but the entire nation is celebrating their bravery and bidding them farewell with heavy hearts. And your Parents, wherever they are, must be praying for a shameful end for you everyday.

You can never ever break the spirit of a nation! Any nation! Every attack has resulted in cleansing up of the entire terrorist group or a few of them running away. None says ” and the terrorist ruled the country ever after”!

So, stop dreaming and doing ill and start acting Humane! Your fight is against the entire world, every human of every continent, that’s a crazy number to think of! How many are you?

Forget the number, lets talk about strength!

Killing innocent students in the school, targeting unaware tourists , opening fire on people in Church is nothing but cowardice! All this actually exposes your helplessness. It shows how desperately you are seeking attention!

You are so lonely and so miserable. I pity you, the entire world pities you. But we will never spare you! You are an area we are the globe. You are hidden and we are everywhere! You are a handful and we are ? Do I have to tell you?