Mommy Mania!






Happy Mother’s Day to all of us in motherhood. I have been on a sabbatical for two years. Became a mommy and then more Mommy. As I celebrate my second Mother’s Day, waking up at 9 and heading to the study to write this, let me tell you I am super anxious. Maybe the postpartum hormones are still all over (well that is the best excuse you give and get for the motherhood challenges, trust me!)

Being a Mummy to a sweet little peanut or a grown up cupcake is the most beautiful thing in the world they say. And I could not agree more. But this “most beautiful thing in the world” feeling is not always beautiful. Haw, what did i just say? Am I criticizing the ultimate blessing God has bestowed upon me. Nah. How would you react if i said that giving birth to your namesake is the most terrifying thing in the world. Forget the 9 month challenges or the labor pains. You have pregnancy pillows, nausea and constipation medicines, PreNatals and Epidural to deal with it. What comes and stays forever is fear, anger, guilt and heaps of worries. No one wants to talk about these return gifts from the motherhood party. And trust me everyone gets these. I have the most supportive father to my son in the world. So supportive that I have to admit, not once have I bathed my child. He does most of the things like a super mom while i take rest. But do I really rest. Worrying about the husband didn’t even slowed down and here I am, worrying about a human being so tiny that I can hide him in my arms.

As a mommy you can never rest. Trust me, you cannot! You might be lying on the best mattress in the world, sipping on finest of coffees, squeezing a stress ball while reading the best humor, but you are still not at peace. “I haven’t heard him since long, what is he up to?” “Oh God why does she have to go to the school picnic?” “Ah, he could have injured his brain in that fall off the bed.” “What are these rashes? Why is she crying? Is her stomach aching? Has he picked a bug?”  Oh God, the list never ends. You worry constantly. You feel guilty for not meeting your baby’s milestones, You feel miserable if he doesn’t eat the nutritious vegetable daliya you cooked for him. Your anger knows no bounds if someone picks her up with dirty hands or knocks him down. Every crime serial leaves you more hurtful. You daydream about food during pregnancy and your child getting abducted later. You start praying for a good, loving and caring life partner for your child who has just got his first set of teeth! Don’t laugh we are all crazy and mother at the same time! Terrified and tortured by our own imagination. Thus, there you are, the owner of the most coveted title in the world, “Mother” to a baby, finding yourself so helpless that you feel crying is the pill you need.

No one talks about these scars that remain with you forever. But you know what the good news is? Everything is ok and you are not alone. Someone correctly said ” having a child is like letting a part of your heart live outside your body” You want them to be independent but you are scared while they take their first sky dive. A mother’s love is such that it takes the comfort of the days and the sleep of the nights. But still it is the most beautiful feeling because you wouldn’t want it any other way! I am a proud mother detected with Malignant worries and restlessness but in a Euphoria that is so soothing. The more you love your child the more you feel all the anxieties in the world. But the joy that smile, those cuddles and lifelong love brings in your life is far more than a remedy for all the distress. Love yourself more, take a multivitamin daily and Enjoy Motherhood!



Negativity Addicted!

Is negativity an organ in disguise? Like heart, lungs, kidneys or maybe the Gall bladder.

Tell people you are super happy and they won’t have much to ask. “Oh wow Congratulations” “That’s great news” or at the most “Many more to come”.

I mean what is up with all of us? We are so fond of complains, cribs and cries that we can pay to watch them. Don’t believe me? Ok, let’s give you proofs.

I recently broke up with a friend for some unreasonable behaviour of hers. Next day she is at my place, with zero guilt of what she said but lots and lots of family screwups that LED her to be rude. I would have stood by her in these times of trial, but wouldn’t it be a better idea to start the conversation with owning up her mistakes.. Sympathy never leads to forgiveness.

Every day lakhs of people crib about the politicians, the cricket, the prohibition of entries in temples. And then there are double the number, supporting and shouting. Does it even reach anywhere? I mean it is easy to curse the politicians sitting at home. Try and do something for the country to prove your patriotism. But that is not what is popular. Making a story filled with pain and injustice sells better than “the country that respects its caretakers and grows happily ever after”!

We need that “masala” all the time. And hardly does our eyes see the good and our mind and tongue start vandalising it! But every revolt does not turn into revolution!

Kate Middleton’s Marilyn Monroe moment overshadowed her visit to pay respect to the monument of Indian Martyrs of World War I.

Her not so curvy body and the dresses she wore has more to talk about than what has she done during her stay in India.

I mean, seriously? Is that even a news? But still people write it because we read and have the ‘ha ho’ moment. Do not blame journalism if all you love to see is how the father of the dead reacted and how the 5 year old was molested!

I would be preaching if I start giving ways to avoid negativity, but I won’t mind saying that The Royal couple visiting India is a real honour to me. There is no harm in watching a documentary of Indian growth once in a while. And I hate using my adversities for manipulation.

We can seriously have a long discussion on a friend’s new house, which will definitely have a better effect on our hormones than flooding a colleague that missed a promotion with advises. How good it will be if we get more attracted to the colony where harmony and love resides!

Tips to use Facebook as a peacemaker!

” Oh the Las Vegas trip was amazing” I chuckled.

” Yes, your pictures on facebook says it ”

I am really indebted to the collective effort of so many human brains that has made us so reachable to one another  inspite of the otherwise busy lives most of us lead. Facebook is a saviour. The satisfaction of “I know what they are upto these days”, the happiness of all the likes and comments, it is all so precious. Imagine if Mark Zuckerberg withdraws his creation! Ah, cannot even think about that.

Everyone has a right to be complimented for their successes and supported in times of trial. This is a thumbrule of any social networking site. Apart from this there are a few more dos and don’ts that, if taken care of, can make you a boon to the facebook world.


  • Use Emoticons 🙂                                                                                                                                   download                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Imagine someone congratulating or complimenting  you without an expression or laughing at your joke like just an emotionless “hahaha”. That would be so weird. Hence in virtual world too, there are Emoticons!  You might as well want to Use them next time you write something 🙂
  •   Don’t be rude                                                                                                                                          3303077_f520                                                         Being unkind is never the kind of attitude you should bet on. It is never appreciated. So, next time if you find a post that is east to the west of your beliefs, discuss your thoughts if you have to but do not attack someone with rude words. Afterall, it’s their wall and their beliefs.


  • Respect People’s Privacy                                                                                                                  images

There are certain posts your friends share, tagging their friends and relatives. I am sure we like some of them so much that we hit the ‘share’ button without a second of thinking. It is not at all a good idea to do that as sharing posts directly means sharing their loved ones’ and their profiles too. Next time take their permission or just copy and paste the article with proper credits.


  • Don’t be on a tagging spree                                                                                                            images

Nothing is more irritating than visiting a friend’s profile to see what THEY are upto and crossing 20 posts each of either a ‘trying to be cool dude with goggles’ or something else before you find one post of the profile owner. It looks like a messed up table. Let’s not tag someone in a photo you clicked on YOUR amazing trip to Timbaktoo. Facebook has an option to regulate tags. We can use them to keep our profile protected from Tag trauma.


  •  Judge less enjoy more                                                                                                                      download

Sharing your achievements on facebook is a way of sharing your happiness with friends and family you can’t meet everyday. It is a human trait to talk about the good things in your life.  Avoid judging people as showoffs just because they shared a selfie with their new car or a picture holding their new Michael Kors bag. Or you are simply jealous of their happiness, are you?


  • Send them compliments and chocolates but no GAME REQUESTS                                    wqe90w

Asking for life ends up in a game request to friends who don’t even play. It is disheartening when she posts a beautiful selfie and notification shows a game request instead of a like on her picture. So do a favour, try and keep your facebook account away from games and send requests to virtual people in your game world than your friends who love you. Alternatively, you can go in settings and block such requests.


   These are a few tips you might find useful. May you and facebook live happily ever after 🙂

Disclaimer: Pictures used in the article are not the writer’s property but are taken from the internet.

Dying to Dance!

we have the 20 or more year old short film at the back of our minds. The time when everything  was upfront and nothing without a bang. Bought a new dress, run to show it to everyone, a new book in the bag, announce it in the class, Got a haircut from the barber at the corner of the lane, compare with your dad to see whose is better. And we did this without being judged.

The Ganpati days when we danced till dead and everybody danced and none we thought knows nothing about dance. We wore those fluorescents without an inch of what will people think! I still miss my flourescent green kurti with a churidar that was inspired by kajol:)

I remember styling my hair a certain way which I mastered over a period of time. We had our 12th Tuition classes at 6 in the morning and I never skipped tying my hair in style only to be faced by a rhetorical question by my Science tutor, “What time do you get up to do all this?” Now the young me with zero inhibitions and lots of confidence took it as a compliment. And continued my effort to look like Kajol of “Jab pyar kiya to darna kya”! But today I feel a little embarrassed to think about that question. There were so many students who heard it after all ;p

As a child, I had this huge gang of friends who were there always. We thought ourselves like the vanar sena of the colony. There was a marriage hall nearby and winters meant we are not eating at home. We used to get dressed and attend the weddings to directly head towards the dining section. On one such free food weddings occasion,  there was this friend who brought a bright yellow birthday card with an elephant holding a cake.His mom bought the card as she did not like the idea of her son going empty handed to his friend’s birthday. So, we all decided that the card should reach its recipient. After a nice meal, we walked up to the stage and handed that card to the groom and gave a nice “Say cheese” smile to the cameraman.

All this and more made up my childhood. But today, looking back I dread myself. Did I really do all this? Today I do not even go to someone’s house uninvited. And try to be dressed and styled in par with the occasion. what is wrong with me?

We have all lived our childhood in similar ways. Lots of mischiefs and hundreds of stories to share. What happens to everyone on turning 20, 30 or 40? Why are we scared of being judged, that too while judging others? As we grow up we become negligent in our happiness. We no longer want to walk in those weddings uninvited and we are least bothered about the new dress. Everyone carries a sophistication around but craves for one day sans makeup in PJs running around with a candy floss or our favourite parle G biscuit with a cup of ‘Chai'(read tea). And no one else can get those days for us but we. It is about time we live our childhoods at least some days and keep the souls alive 🙂

Dance if you are dying to dance!


The protesting Punks!

“Check with Bhaiya, how was his visa interview.” I said while in a hurry to get breakfast on the table. “He couldn’t reach the embassy because of the JAT outrage!”

Then I see few of my friends looking for a travel partner to have a safe journey in and out of Delhi and UP. I had been overlooking or you can say ignoring this topic for a long time simply because I didn’t want to give them an undeserved attention or end up playing the blame game. But the matter seems to be getting worse and ‘protestors’ need to behave themselves. I guess these are the ones who, as kids used to lie down on roads and wail so that Mom buys the toffee they have been eying(eyeing)! Not even the parents realised. when this individual performance of embarrassing them turned into an act of public threat!

In my opinion, Protests to free the country or kill hooliganism is heroic. But roaming around as hooligans for personal gains is terrorism! Half of such protestors are people who just need a punching bag to take all sorts of frustrations off. And they unfortunately select the nation! And the other half are attention seekers who want to make headlines on their favourite news channel.

JNU students want to protest against hanging of a terrorist, the jats want to protest against not getting a “better backward” status and we want to blame the government, our history and everything in the world but ourselves for this!
Watched a clip of the JNU protest and the so called ‘krantikaris’ are smiling and don’t appear to be even knowing what they are there for. All they made sure is look at the camera!

The next thing that worries me is our definition of being “LIBERAL”! History is nonsense, our culture is nonsense, my life my rules, damage the world because my wishes are not fulfilled is outright foolishness termed Liberalism!

Right to speech doesn’t give you the right to insult, neither does democracy mean “Will do what I want to”!
Let’s Protest, burn down the public properties make the world unsafe for others and we will get what we want. That is not a trend we want to set! And that is not going to happen. While I thought this, something struck me. What are our respected Prime Minister’s thoughts on this? And the best way to confirm was his official social page. I was super glad to see, that all it talked about is growth and good things. I don’t think it is being irresponsible or deaf towards the country’s voice. It is doing what will serve the nation. After All you have to ignore the tears of your spoilt kid to pass that spoonful of bitter medicine down his throat!

P.S Excuse me and my column if you are too liberal to be responsible and too modern to be well mannered 🙂


Mask Please!

-18 degrees around had made me lethargic, lost and lazy.So much so that I lost the count of days of missed workout and gained pounds. Anyway, finally I picked my laptop, dusted it and started thinking about words to start a nice, funny blogpost. It is time since I wrote something. And friends have been calling through to check what is going on. Nothing to worry about, just wanted to spend some days doing nothing but snacking and watching horror on Netflix.

While I was confused about what to write, should it be JNU mess, The recent bollywood breakups or something else, the doorbell rang at the top of its voice. “Argh, who is it? They said no one drops in unannounced in the US!”

The next moment I was on my sofa with Mrs Patel, one of the acquaintances. She drove 50 miles to personally invite me for a Skiing trip. I have zero interest in strapping my feet to those heavy metals and walking like a duck. A duck who is scared of falling and breaking her legs.  “Oh, that is so sweet of you Aunty, I am super excited. Glad you invited me”

What did I just do? One moment I was so damn irritated by the door bell and the very next moment I am hosting with a smile. Skiing and me are MTV and discovery yet I sounded so much “looking forward to it”. Was that a mask I put up? A mask to hide my inconvenience, my “not interested in skiing and super terrified of it” genes. A mask to send aunty happy. But this mask is acceptable in the society. Infact it is essential you have it for the smooth functioning of “Social Picture”.

There are masks, uglier than this. Masks that everyone puts up and plays the music without an iota of remorse or shame.



Some masks, occasionally, are good. But using the ones you can live without, the ones that cause pain to you or someone else is not very cool. I am sure you would agree to have done things just because someone else would be happy. I do it too, but I am not an addict! Many of us hate to drink but put a mask of so much loving the recently launched cocktail. Just to look well informed and modern. Not only this,there are  many who talk about how having a girl is the ultimate blessing to mankind whereas in reality they wish “Not a girl this time”.

I am friendly as a human being but the concept of hating someone so much that all you talk is ill about them, but managing to come across as the only well wisher is far from my understanding. How do people do it?

People witness the wrong, they talk about it over dinner at home, but they have no idea about it in public. What kind of a mask is it? Why is it needed? Why can’t the face skin be given rest by unmasking it. It will detox the soul too. If someone is looking fat in a dress, someone is looking fat. Why a mask of “O wow, you look stunning” You could have helped her by giving your honest opinion.

If you do not like something you are into, you do not like it. There cannot be an alternate meaning to it. Why do you need to mask it with “Oh that is fine”. If you feel like puking at the sight of some Pork Tenderloin, you just have to say it. If you a Non Vegetarian, that is you, don’t try to sound like a pure, distilled vegetarian. People should love you with your chicken wings. Don’t hide your love for daily soaps thinking it would make you look so womanish. Well, that is what you are. A woman. Please don’t gossip about a singer’s dance just because others chose to ignore his talent.

So, there are many masks you can give up and clean your closet. The mask of being extra sweet, vegetarian, know it all, I am with you etc.

Once you get rid of them, you would be glad to notice how beautiful you are without masks. Pure you. You will no longer be one amongst the high risk population of saying Pasta while meaning french fries. And then, the people who you have around, are the ones. Grab them and treasure them. Maskless you with Maskless them 🙂



Is the world mean?

You would be pondering hard about this and if not much of a patient being, you would have already concluded in agreement.

Yes, the world, can get really mean. And by really I genuinely mean serious real. And we witness it quite often. “People are so mean nowadays” we crib and join the league by being bad ourselves.

Back bitten by a friend or acquaintance and a common friend listens to both of you with diplomacy at guard, Getting a compliment filled with sarcasm while or you deserved was words full of praises, getting well treated when you are useful and trashed after being fully utilised. Does your life rhyme with any or many of these? We are all in a constant battle with our egos. And to fulfill its inappropriate diet, we prey on one another. So much so that some people start doubting their parents or spouses of hidden motives. And it is possible. You got to understand that every friend of yours, every neighbor you have and everyone who calls himself/herself a family to you, has a life to lead. And in a zest to make it worthwhile, they end up trying to steal your sugar to make their pies.

Each one of us has faced this revelation. The emotions are still vivid like it happened at 12 today. You were left in disbelief, shock and helplessness! But as you pass the initial betrayal you start getting comfortable with it. “I knew this would happen” becomes your line of defense. And one fine day you end up turning into an empty shoe box that once carried a die for gucci shoes. No pain, no happiness and no expectation.

My question is does this have an end? No, I don’t think it does. Not at least in my life span. They might develop a technology later to control human emotions and have a red button for jealousy, complex, selfishness etc. And that is the only hope I am living on to. How I wish I took up some scientist course in college, I would have started working on it.

But what we can definitely do is try and tame these negative vibes. Shut them off before they start singing their anthem!


The death Dimension!

January of 2016 has been ok so far. OK because if there were highs, a couple of lows followed quickly.

Since the time I have moved to the US, talks with everyone in the Indian neighborhood has become limited to once or maximum twice a week (with an exception of family and few friends). So, a ‘Hi’ from one such neighbours, filled me with unknown fear. After the usual “How are you” stuff, she messaged me the unexpected. One of the other neighbors’ husband has passed away. Oh my God, I was so sure that something was not right and here the news was, staring at me.

He was a young, 33 year old father of an infant. So soon? Taken in the cruelest way. Why? How will God justify this?

On the other hand, read about a teenage swimmer, who killed herself fearing low grades.

Some end their precious life and some are robbed off this priced possession.

There are so many, old, bedridden, in pain and agony, wishing nothing but death. And then there are the ones, young, with a long life ahead, eyes full of dreams and shoulders weighed with responsibilities. If you and I had to decide, we will set the suffering souls free. But God decides otherwise. I wonder, what is his way of deciding the end. what is the criteria, that puts an abrupt end to a life that so much deserved to live.

I remember, a few years ago, one of my friends’ younger sister passed away after a long battle with cancer. So beautiful, so young, taken so soon. What was her purpose? Why was she even sent to this world?


Strange are God’s ways. “Strange” that is all I can call it. Because God cannot be mean and unfair. That is what we have grown up believing. We cannot question the almighty, because whatever he does, does for good. Atleast that is what the experienced tell us.

I have always had a sensitive attachment to the dead. “How would have they felt in the last moments” “Who would have they called for” “Are they still around” “Where are they right now”. I am sure there are many who constantly think about the soul’s whereabouts. The answer to all this lies at the end of the tunnel. I guess, we have to reach there to know what is happening. So, overthinking is useless.

But, cutting short a healthy and happy life and leaving the sick to suffer is something I do not understand!

Competition, Comparison, Contentment!

A  ” What is the plan over the weekend?”

B  “Nothing, would just be lazying around.”

A  “Ok, we are headed to the famous Statue of Liberty.”

B  “Oh wow, we have already been there last year”

A  “O Ok, we were too busy exploring the west coast last year”

B  “West coast is struck off our bucket list 2 years back.”

A  “Oh 2 years back We were busy visiting places in India, afterall, our country is nothing less of a beauty.”

In day to day life, I often come across people, who listen to answer and not understand. If someone has bought the latest phone, I would love to know its features from the one who actually owns it rather than bragging about my internet fed half knowledge about it. But that is the most difficult task for human beings who feel they are not less than anyone around. You will realise that 90% of the talks turn into “who knows better” games. And this is kind of tiresome and irritating.

Who is the culprit?

We! Everyone of us is to be blamed. Society is such that we tend to ape one another. And in the quest to prove ourselves the best, we end up feeling miserable. A wife nagging her husband to take her to the restaurant right opposite to the famous waterfront,just because one of her friends has been there last week, is the beginning of trouble. If your weekend plans start becoming a quest to compare, you will never be happy. It is good to explore places or things suggested by friends and family, but building your days around “doing everything that others have done” is outright crazy. The number of unhappy people is increasing at a rate as high as population growth. And the reason is simple, Comparing your lives to another.

Trying to become what someone else is, and in the process dumping your hard earned, unique self will never get you famous. Being in a garden and sulking about the fact that you are not at the happening party your friend is at, is wastage of your time at the garden. Enjoy where you are, live the life that you have built for yourself. There will always be someone better than you, there will always be someone having a better profile picture or better weekend plans. But that does not make you any less. Go to a disc because you love dancing , not just because your friend has been there last night.


Life becomes very easy and worth enjoying once you start making plans for yourself. Comparison and competition are not synonyms to Contentment. They don’t even rhyme. So what is the point of doing the first two in a hope to get the third.

My pledge for life is ” I am not going to run around and exhaust myself visiting the places i have no interest in, buying the gadgets I don’t need or wearing the dress I don’t feel comfortable in, Just because someone else has done that.”

Family Fragments

I am without a number for the past few days. Number porting can turn you real nostalgic. No number is equal to no quick talks with friends. So now when I meet them, they have lots to tell. Erica, my gym mate turned friend was really upset yesterday and wanted to talk to me asap. Someone upset on Sunday can mean the problem is serious.

I messaged her on facebook to come over and the first thing after sending my husband to work was sitting with her. “Am I not a good Human being?”She bursted into tears.

I wondered what made her so helpless and doubtful about her goodness. And I always believed the only thing that can break you is what has made you. For me its the people I love . And today I realized, Erica has similar choices. One of her Siblings was upto something and Erica alerted her parents to make sure things are looked after. And today, her family blames her for everything that has ever happened. Would not write much about the incident but what led Erica to be the Villain has to be discussed. Loving and spoiling are two different things but are often taken as synonyms in many households. There are many Sons and daughters who have grown old enough to reproduce but are still treated as a crib confined baby. And what is mischief in childhood can turn into mistakes as you grow. Forgiving is a Godly quality but forgiving someone who is not even sorry is foolishness. And there are families where one is always forgiven and another is always tested. Blaming the quieter is easier than correcting the nastier.

Is Erica really responsible for the decisions made by her adult sibling?

Is anyone of us to be blamed for what happens to someone who doesn’t want to take our suggestions?

Being protective for your family and loving them unconditionally is the best thing that can happen to you. Lucky are the families that have a member who binds everyone. But quite more than often, this care and love is taken for granted. When people know you will always be there, they won’t even peek to check on your well being. And you are standing their, like a pillar, strong and tall, ready to face all the hardships before it even reaches your people. You do all this without expecting anything. But you get returns in thankless statements and threats to be disowned. Should you be scared of losing someone who doesn’t even respect your existence? Or should they be concerned of missing a daughter, son, sister, brother (or any relation) who loved them immensely?


We have been taught since infanthood till we die that family is always right and parents can never be mean. But I have met people who have tears in their eyes and tiredness in their voice gifted by their families. So, if I have a loving family I would not define Family as loving. I might be lucky with the gene equation but not everyone is.

Don’t do this to yourself. No relation is worth keeping if it is not two sided. Love, respect, care, you name it and everything has to be two sided. The intensity can vary but the element should be present. It is painful an acceptance that family can be mean, but it is true for some. And the sooner you realise where you stand with people you love, the better it is for your health. Stress is the root of many diseases after all and you don’t want to fall sick for being good.

People will always have something to talk about. So I do not even consider “what will people say” emotion while making any decision. Society pressure is more lethal than a high or low Blood pressure . It won’t be wrong to say that the former can cause the latter.

I cannot advise but if I am ever in a situation where my family is not one straight out of community living book, I will take it easy. I would rather spend that love and energy on people who truly care. Ups and downs are a part and parcel of life but if you are always on the downs while trying to keep your loved ones up, it is time to re evaluate and rethink! I hope everyone out there is listening….