Happy Mother’s Day to all of us in motherhood. I have been on a sabbatical for two years. Became a mommy and then more Mommy. As I celebrate my second Mother’s Day, waking up at 9 and heading to the study to write this, let me tell you I am super anxious. Maybe the postpartum hormones are still all over (well that is the best excuse you give and get for the motherhood challenges, trust me!)
Being a Mummy to a sweet little peanut or a grown up cupcake is the most beautiful thing in the world they say. And I could not agree more. But this “most beautiful thing in the world” feeling is not always beautiful. Haw, what did i just say? Am I criticizing the ultimate blessing God has bestowed upon me. Nah. How would you react if i said that giving birth to your namesake is the most terrifying thing in the world. Forget the 9 month challenges or the labor pains. You have pregnancy pillows, nausea and constipation medicines, PreNatals and Epidural to deal with it. What comes and stays forever is fear, anger, guilt and heaps of worries. No one wants to talk about these return gifts from the motherhood party. And trust me everyone gets these. I have the most supportive father to my son in the world. So supportive that I have to admit, not once have I bathed my child. He does most of the things like a super mom while i take rest. But do I really rest. Worrying about the husband didn’t even slowed down and here I am, worrying about a human being so tiny that I can hide him in my arms.
As a mommy you can never rest. Trust me, you cannot! You might be lying on the best mattress in the world, sipping on finest of coffees, squeezing a stress ball while reading the best humor, but you are still not at peace. “I haven’t heard him since long, what is he up to?” “Oh God why does she have to go to the school picnic?” “Ah, he could have injured his brain in that fall off the bed.” “What are these rashes? Why is she crying? Is her stomach aching? Has he picked a bug?” Oh God, the list never ends. You worry constantly. You feel guilty for not meeting your baby’s milestones, You feel miserable if he doesn’t eat the nutritious vegetable daliya you cooked for him. Your anger knows no bounds if someone picks her up with dirty hands or knocks him down. Every crime serial leaves you more hurtful. You daydream about food during pregnancy and your child getting abducted later. You start praying for a good, loving and caring life partner for your child who has just got his first set of teeth! Don’t laugh we are all crazy and mother at the same time! Terrified and tortured by our own imagination. Thus, there you are, the owner of the most coveted title in the world, “Mother” to a baby, finding yourself so helpless that you feel crying is the pill you need.
No one talks about these scars that remain with you forever. But you know what the good news is? Everything is ok and you are not alone. Someone correctly said ” having a child is like letting a part of your heart live outside your body” You want them to be independent but you are scared while they take their first sky dive. A mother’s love is such that it takes the comfort of the days and the sleep of the nights. But still it is the most beautiful feeling because you wouldn’t want it any other way! I am a proud mother detected with Malignant worries and restlessness but in a Euphoria that is so soothing. The more you love your child the more you feel all the anxieties in the world. But the joy that smile, those cuddles and lifelong love brings in your life is far more than a remedy for all the distress. Love yourself more, take a multivitamin daily and Enjoy Motherhood!